One of the role divisions that lead to men wanting sex more than women has to do with parenting. Even in feminist-informed marriages, nursing mothers get involved with babies in a way that fathers just can’t. Beyond that, deep s…
One of the role divisions that lead to men wanting sex more than women has to do with parenting. Even in feminist-informed marriages, nursing mothers get involved with babies in a way that fathers just can’t. Beyond that, deep societal expectations can lead mothers to spend more time with their kids than fathers do. And children are simply not sexy for the vast majority of adults, analogous in their way to funerals, bodily fluids, and tearjerkers. It’s not just that their presence is a wet blanket; it’s also that the role you’re in when you are with children is anti-sexy. You’re all about their needs, and your own get put on hold for so long that it’s not always easy to access them when you get the chance.
Conversely, identifying and fixing difficulties in their sex life can not only make sex better, it can fix other problems as well, because it is hard to feel distant from or angry at someone who brings you so much pleasure. I’m not suggesting that a good roll in the hay is an answer to anger at being taken for granted; I’m suggesting that an ongoing, reliable, gratifying sex life can help keep you from being taken for granted. Indeed, it seems this may be the reason for sex in the first place. Mere reproduction would not need pleasure, and all the complications that sexual pleasure has entailed. Reproduction could be handled evolutionarily with instinct, like blinking and breathing.
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